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The Scrabble Dictionary

October 17, 2009 Leave a comment


The light of day begins to fade but the humidity stays. The insects begin to chirp and I am caught in the moment. A gameboard sits before me and my worthy opponent is there. She stares.

Out come the wooden blocks – letters upon them lest they be the dangerous phantom squares. “How do you spell pasta?” she says. “I don’t know” say I with a whole lotta smirk.

The ominous green book is there, somewhere. It always is.

“P A S T A H, “Let’s see…that’s 2,3,4…8….12 points”. “Hmmm” I say. I keep my game face but I know I am going to challenge. I must. Not because she’s wrong, but for principle. If I must lose in defense of the English language, then so be it.

“I challenge” I say with a stern tone but incredulous smile. She reaches for the book like she knew where it was all along. It’s her companion.

“Pas…Past, Pasta, Pastah!, the Greek term for Jet Ski”.

I check for myself. Not because she would lie, but as a playful joust at her character. It’s there, and so is every other conceivable combination of letters.

In fact (not really) in there you can find the Spanish term for “electric fence”, the ebonics term for “tennis”, and the German term for “sparkling wine”.

I rather enjoy losing to a girl. Thank you Scrabble Dictionary.

Categories: All Categories, Funny, Poetic

I May Sneeze, but Shalln’t

October 12, 2009 1 comment


“Achoo” says he. “Bless You” says she. “Thank you” says he.

We all know the folklore. But this needs to be said: I’m not a “Bless You” man. Not for any malcontent ease however. And that’s where my story begins.

You see, I’ve had happen to sneeze on occasion. And I’ve received many a “Bless You” – but often times, not. And I am made to feel unseen. Not because she said no “Bless You”, but because she had before and not hereto.

Why no “Bless You”? Is it because I am not he? Or because I am nay to say it? And what of the silence that follows? It ruminates and pulsates and I can almost feel it.

Is this not an awkward and discriminate moment? If one speaks “Bless You” to a man, should he not speak it to another? Would that man not be made to feel affronted?